heavy heart, happy heart

Even though it has been awhile I still feel the sting of missing my Grandma. It may be because my laundry room smells like hers. My mind races back to the times I would clean for her. I can picture her tidy laundry room and her cupboard filled with cleaners and brushes. It may be the rocker that she gave Joe and I after emma was born. I have been refinishing it for Cyrus' room. I know it wasn't the rocker she used to rock her own babies, but I still like to picture her sitting in it with a babe in her arms. It may be sweet Emma, and how every few days she will get a sad look and stop playing and say she misses her Grandma Jeanette. Grandma was so good to let us know she loves us. She sent sweet little notes to Emma in the mail that would always brighten her day. It comforts me when Joe or I comfort Emma, telling her that Grandma is in a better place teaching people about Jesus, and that she is watching after the rest of our family that hasn't come yet.

Happy Easter

Secrets

Emma and cyrus get along so well! It is fun to watch Emma show Cyrus what she is doing and try to include him. Cyrus smiles and does his exited kicks, arm flapping and he makes a certian coo that he will only make for Emma. I love to watch them especially when they don't see me. Yesterday Emma was telling Cyrus secrets while they were playing together. Emma is the best big sister, she tells me when Cyrus falls asleep, when he wakes up, when he is crying, and when she wakes him up and he is crying. She tells Cyrus stories and can calm him down if he starts to cry. Cyrus is 4 months he has the cutest round belly and cheeks. He has rolls on his arms and thighs. He talks a lot and sings when someone else is singing. Cyrus loves his daddy and lights up when he hears his voice.

On my mind

The worst feeling is not being able to see my marine when he got home, waiting for five days before I see him. Knowing that he is safe and in the United States is wonderful and a great relief. Oh how I wish the next five days were over.

Joe got home this morning. I cried when he called me, (I still feel like crying) I didn't anticipate feeling this sad. I keep telling myself it will only be five more days. I hope I stay busy enough so these last few days don't feel longer than the six months we were apart. I wish we were there to greet him, to watch him come walking in. I cant wait to see you my heart.

love

7 years.

Amazing years that have brought us this:

and this:

i love you

Growth Tracker: Creepy Edition

I have seen pictures of a baby and the same stuffed animal to show how much the baby has grown. Emma was playing with this doll the other day, I thought it was about the same size as Cyrus. So we laid them down. Poor Cyrus didn't like being next to the creepiest doll in the world and I have to say I don't blame him. I am not to good at keeping up with these kinds of things so sadly or happily this is the first and last time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA

Emma turned 5 yesterday, sadly I didn't take any pictures of her birthday dinner or of her opening her presents, just videos. She opened up her a few present while we talked to Joe on the computer so that he could watch her. We were so lucky on her birthday that the internet worked, all week Joe's internet wasn't working that great. Emma requested to have German pancakes for her birthday dinner with sausage and strawberries. She didnt want to have a cake and wanted fat boys instead. I love that she has a mind of her own.

I wasn't on the ball quick enough after Cyrus was born so Emma's party won't be for a few more days. She has done so well with all of the changes that have happened. She is such a great big sister. She always gives him kisses and lets me know when he starts to cry. She is so gentle and sweet to her baby Cyrus.

We love you sweet girl and have had so much fun playing with you loving you the last 5 years. You are amazing Choochie!